Wanting to add style to my hair.?

I'm 5'5 and 28 years old. I went for about two years without even trimming my hair. Call it a moment of craziness. Anyway, split end galore! About three months ago I got the split ends removed, or most of them, bringing my hair from mid thigh to hip length; I cut off about 16 inches. My hair is thick, wavy and has never been dyed or chemically altered. It is medium brown in color with auburn highlights. So, now I'd like to do something with it. My goal is to make it lighter and easier to manage... and pretty. Currently, my hair is usually back in a single English braid and gets washed once a week. I would like to beable to wash it more than once a week, blow dry and go. (I don't really know how to blow dry my hair but I'll learn.) I'd also like to maintain some length and I promised my husband I would keep it soft and feminine. I was thinking of getting it cut bra strap length and have long layers from the shoulder down. My hair is such that the lighter it is the waivier it is... to the point that if it dries on my pillow over night it's looks like I used a curling iron. That never lasts though. I want to have my hair out for the most part with the occasional ponytail or braid. If I go this route, will I succeed in my goal? I'd like it if my hair could dry in less than 15 min, as opposed to 3 hours. Also, I've heard it said that layering your hair would ruin it... but my hair is broken all the way up anyhow. So what could I do to improve my hair rather than destroy it further? I haven't had an actual "style" since I was a little girl. (visions of the mushroom cut! ugh!)